Hello 2007!

Dear Glob,

2006 was a roller coaster year for me: Super happy high points and free falling pits of despair. In addition to Karma and Horoscopes, I’m a staunch believer in Biorhythm. As a Little Chewie, I clearly remember when my eldest sister, P., explained life’s cyclical ups and downs in classic TV moment style. I was having a bad day (something monumental in the eyes of a kid, like falling off my bike or losing a quarter) and P. assured me that I was just in the lower trenches of my Biorhythm. She assured me that since so many “bad” things had already happened I was now definitely on the upswing, and sure enough in a couple of days I was back to my happy-go-lucky self.

As I grew older and, arguably, wiser, I modified this theory to factor in degrees of happiness/sadness: The higher the rise, the harder the fall. Some years were marked by a mellow Biorhythm, where I complacently coasted through the months in a general serene state. Events weren’t GREAT, but then again they weren’t HORRIBLE, you know? This past year I dug myself in a really deep hole. I was a raging alcoholic, who didn’t know where I was half the time. Alienated, horribly lost and just bent out of shape, I made some big changes and decisions and slowly climbed out of the pit, ultimately to a point of lucid happiness. By the final months of 2006, my Biorhythm evened out and I was back to the chill state of life I find myself in today. Retrospectively, I learned a whole lot about myself during my year of self-destruction/discovery, and finally feel that I’m walking in the right direction, albeit in Baby Steps. So I cheer to you 2007 – bring on the life lessons and, if its not too much trouble, happy moments to balance out the bad.

My New Year’s Resolutions (and, Mr. 2007, I’m not asking for crazy things like winning the Lottery, but for reasonably attainable goals):

1. Be a good Tita Chewie (Bun – where are you?!??! Come soon!)
2. Rejoin an orchestra – Yay Violas!
3. Ride an Airplane/Travel at least twice this year (Bonus points if I need my passport)
4. Fit comfortably into my pants (by restraint, ha!, or running)
5. Learn a new skill
6. Watch the Knicks in the NBA Playoffs
7. Find a job that doesn’t make me feel like a bad person every morning/has regular hours (*and I’m almost there… cross your fingers)
8. And, of course, regularly update my Glob

The Ant vs. The Grasshopper

Dear Glob,

These past few months of unemployment have been restless, with uneventful days wasted away in a Waterbed black hole daze. Yesterday I decided to try something new in search of some forward momentum. Not only did I embark on my journey to become the world's greatest blogger, but I also got my haircut in attempt to upgrade my personal hygiene and, more significantly, schlepped myself to a temporary staffing agency. Lo and behold, today I worked a 9-5 shift at Lamont Doherty, helping a Scientist cite a chapter in his book. One would think I would be miserable with my reinsertion back into the daily grind, but it was quite the contrary. As I started compiling citations and entering data into Excel spreadsheets, part of my brain burst wide open and a driving force "woke" me up. Next thing you know I was expertly executing a top notch bibliography while brainstorming Christmas presents and researching Habitat for Humanity's upcoming project in Hawaii (anyone remotely interested?). Multitasking and crazy "impossible" dreams have returned! So the apparent cure for my Idleness Slump? Work.

On a long commute home, my sister P. and I were talking about how we thrive in work environments. Sheepishly both of us came to the conclusion that we were workaholics by nature, which prompted P. to remember a conversation she had with her husband, the Whale. During an episode of Northern Exposure, John Corbett's (better known as Aiden from Sex in the City) character has an existential breakdown at the neighborhood bar. Everyone is dogging his starving-artist-live-in-a-trailer lifestyle, when a frustrated Aiden proclaims that he is a Grasshopper and everyone else is an Ant. Not to get confused with the well known Ant and Grasshopper folktale, where the Ant diligently works through the summer while the Grasshopper screws around only to freeze his ass off during the winter as the Ant makes s'mores fireside in his comfy cabin, I think Aiden's Grasshopper symbolized a fancy free, no frills attitude whereas Ants are too caught up with work and snazzy fire pits to enjoy life. At the conclusion of this scene, the Whale (with his Grasshopper spirit) lamented to P. (and her Ant tendencies) about the lack of Grasshoppers in the world. P. confided to me during our ride home that she was OK being an Ant, but then told me something that constantly makes me reevaluate my life. The Whale thought I was a Grasshopper.

I always want to think of myself as the artsy creative type. When posed with the theme "Caught on the Web" on my High School Regents English exam, I chose to write a story about a man who lured unsuspecting prey into his booby trapped alley. It was the most fun I've ever had taking a standardized test, and never did it cross my mind that I was going against the grain. Next week during class, my teacher pulled me aside to let me know what a ruckus I had caused with my "special interpretation." Everyone else had written about the Internet and how it was changing our society, and I... had written about a Spiderman. Luckily, my English teacher had a soft spot for my eccentricity and I passed despite the digression. Ultimately my "Caught on the Web" story became the red herring on an upcoming poetry test, which to this day is one of my most cherished accomplishments.*

What does this all amount to? When given all the free time in the world, I spend my time playing Solitaire and watching back to back episodes of Law and Order... But when you throw a temporary 9 to 5 session of Excel into the mix, I'm suddenly all Carpe Diem.



So here's my own personal existential breakdown:
Am I a Grasshopper or an Ant?











*Again, my small readership, that story is for another post.